Just try Mama, I help you.

"Just try mama, I help you."  My almost 3 year old is more my hero than I am hers. I always knew God would send the perfect child to me. A child that would push me to be greater than great.

I prepared myself, as much as possible, for the days when her curiosity would zero in on me. I knew the time would come when she would begin to try and understand why I sit when all other moms walk. I expected it.

What I did not expect was the concern, the intense want to understand not just know. The way she tilted her head to one side with the sweetest eyes and most assured voice while saying "Just try mama, I help you." She wanted me to try and walk...with her help. I never imagined how proud one little statement would make me feel while at the same time suffocating me. This tiny, 26 lb little girl that I helped take her first steps...she wanted to help me do the same. So much concern and love in her words and in her beautiful brown, speckled green eyes. I was so proud of her faith in me...suffocated that I already knew I would not be able to do what she believed she could help me do.

It's been the topic of a lot of random conversations with her lately. "When you get bigger, then you walk?" "When I get big, I will carry you like daddy!" "You had surgeries when you was little like me, that make you sad?" "I walk, daddy walk, you push your chair." I know this is just the beginning. While she is curious for answers now, she is content with the most simple answer.

I am one of those people that may slightly, or more so, irk others around me with my constant smile and positive attitude. So, of course I look on the brighter side of this journey. This journey that I make slightly diff than most. What could I dwell on? hmmm... That I can't chase after my child, that I can't stand in the deep end of a pool and help her swim. That I will never hold her hand and run through the sand into the ocean. That I can't help her climb up a big inflatable so she can slide down. I can't hold her by her hands and spin her around in circles. I will not be able to teach her to hula hoop, jump rope, play hop scotch, dance...the list could go on for hours. Nope, I wont dwell on those things. Will they cross my mind more than once? Yes, they already have. I will not DWELL on them. Nope, I am bigger than that...she deserves more than that. Dwelling on the negatives will only cause me to miss so much that is good and positive. Positive? Yes, I could go on for days instead of hours on positive...don't forget I am the optimist:) She loves to ride in my lap, I can paint with her, take her to the park, to the zoo, swing her, run through a sprinkler with her, read to her, draw with her, play babies with her, LOVE her, encourage her, BE there for her...the list goes on. Most importantly tho, I have an opportunity to show her that differences are OK, that positive thinking can completely turn a situation around, that obstacles make you stronger! I want her to understand faith is not having things go perfectly, but instead knowing everything is part of a bigger plan!

We are only as strong as our biggest battle fought! I love her curiosity. I love her concern for me. I love her faith in me. I love her for pushing me. I love her.

I don't know what is ahead of us on our journey, but I plan on rollin' with it:)